Two Months — Homegrown + Lovely

For exactly two months we have been a family of four. There have been many wonderfully glorious moments, and also a few very trying times thrown in the mix every now and then. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love both of those little girls so much.

I'll start back at the beginning. My last post was about the upcoming birth of Sloane. My due date came and went, and while I knew in my brain that that date is just a number, it was hard to wrap my head around the fact that this baby was going to be late. How late? Well, that was a good question! Blake came two days early, so all of a sudden I was in unfamiliar territory. Even though I didn't want to go that long, I was very glad that my midwives let you go two weeks past, as long as your stress tests come back ok at 41 weeks. I really wanted to go into labor naturally and the opportunity to go to 42 weeks, if needed, was great. I went to bed on 8/31, half expecting to wake up in the night with my water breaking, but it didn't. I had been working from home that week, and by about 10am on Thursday 9/1, I started noticing that my Braxton Hicks contractions were becoming a little more regular. I had Braxton Hicks with Blake, and started getting them around the third trimester with Sloane. So having them was nothing new, but the consistency of them seemed to be picking up a bit, along with the intensity. I kept timing them every few hours, but it was never enough where I felt I needed to call the midwives.

By Friday, I started working in the morning, but it wasn't long before I was way too distracted to continue doing anything. I wasn't uncomfortable to an extreme level, but I was surely noticing the contractions more than not. That evening we decided to take Blake to the in-laws. I was fairly certain that this baby was coming soon, and they were so looking forward to having her that we just decided to take her. That night, I could not get to sleep. Sloane was kicking and moving around so much I didn't even want to lay down, so I went downstairs to get a change of scenery. I was timing contractions, and they seemed to be pretty intense, more than I'd experienced yet, and I started getting panicky. I needed to get to the hospital to have antibiotics administered, and they wanted them in my system for four hours before the baby came. So I was having this constant dilemma about wanting to get to the hospital in time for that, but not so early that we spend unnecessary time sitting around, when I could be in the comfort of my own home with distractions there. It was about midnight and I went back upstairs and woke up Matt. He suggested I try and lay down, to which I responded with a very colorful answer that I won't repeat here. The tears started streaming and I was honestly getting pretty anxious, partially because I wasn't sure if it was time, but also because I knew if it wasn't, it was close. Our lives were about to change and my nerves were on overdrive.

We chatted a bit more while I sat on the medicine ball, and within an hour, things had calmed down. I was breathing normally again with a much clearer head. We had turned on the TV, and I remember falling asleep to Seinfeld.

We woke up Saturday and I was still having contractions. Since we didn't have Blake at home, we both were just puttering around that morning. We made breakfast and while Matt was working on a drone project, I packaged up some soap to ship out. My mother-in-law called around noon, and while I was talking to her she asked how I was feeling and if I was still having contractions. I said yes, and that I'd had about three since we'd been talking. She pointed out that it had only been about 10 minutes and that I may want to consider going to the hospital soon. I had called my midwife earlier that morning because I had a pretty good feeling we'd be having a baby that weekend, and she let me know she would be at the hospital all day so I could come whenever, even if I just wanted to be checked for dilation. I finished chatting with my MIL and started to wash our dishes from breakfast. All of a sudden, it occurred to me that I'd only washed two cups, but I'd had to stop twice to get through contractions. I continued to wash, and all of a sudden I found myself leaning onto the edge of the sink for counter pressure during the next contraction. I barely made it through the last few items, so as soon as I was done I yelled to Matt that I thought it was time to wrap things up at home. Funny enough, I told Matt I wanted him to vacuum the house before we left, because I didn't want to come home to dirty floors. So while he was doing that, I slowly made my way upstairs to grab the last minute items for my hospital bag. By this time it felt like my contractions were on top of each other and I had to stop often. We finally got everything in order, and while it likely only took 10-15 minutes, it felt much longer than that. We got in the car and headed to the hospital. We didn't talk much, but I remember Matt saying maybe it was a false alarm and they'd be sending us home. I think I responded that I was afraid we may not even make it to the hospital!

I distinctly remember looking at the clock when we pulled around to the labor and delivery entrance. It was 2:20pm. We had to wait in the lobby for a few minutes before our nurse, Erin, came out to meet us. I swear we were in the furthest room away and I had to stop so many times to get through contractions. But, we finally made it to our room. The day was so different than when Blake was born. The light was shining bright through the windows as it was only mid-afternoon, we didn't have any family at the hospital waiting, my water hadn't broken, and the contractions were coming hard and fast. I can't remember what came first, the antibiotics or the cervical check, but the nurses had a hell of a time getting the IV in my arm. My body was pretty tense and they had to do all sorts of things to finally get it. Our amazing midwife Kim came in right as we were getting settled. When she checked me, I was sure I'd only be 5cm, and I felt like that was a generous guess. But, I was already dilated to a 6!! With Blake, things progressed very quickly from 6 to 10cm. About an hour after we arrived, Matt left to bring in our bags and park the car. At that point he texted our families with the update, that we had gone to the hospital and I was dilated to a 6. He got back to our room and I had been mostly standing/leaning this entire time, and someone asked if I wanted to lay down on my side for a bit. I did, and no sooner had I gotten on the hospital bed did I have another contraction. And this one has changed completely. Getting on my side must have shifted Sloane, because all of a sudden my body started pushing with this contraction. The next one was the same way, and I was fighting it, because I wasn't sure if I had dilated. Our midwife had just left to check on other patients, so our nurse ran to get her back. She checked me again, and I was basically fully dilated at this point. I should have remembered that this exact same position is what got me fully dilated with Blake, so I should have expected it!

I remember things started moving very quickly at this point. I was in shock that it had happened so fast, and I kept asking Kim, are you sure this is ok? It's really time to push? Yes, she answered. It's time! It took a couple minutes for me to regain composure and focus, but I was able to with the help of her and Matt. I felt like I had my eyes closed a lot, and at one point I opened them and saw about 8 people in the room. Within minutes, maybe 12ish, a baby was born at 4:18pm, almost exactly two hours after we had arrived! It was so insane how fast things happened. We were all sort of in shock, but Sloane had arrived, perfect as can be! Soon after, Matt texted the family again with the good news, and it was funny to see the reactions! Based on my delivery with Blake, everyone was expecting it to take a while. But Sloane had other plans, so needless to say they were shocked that the very next text he sent, had news of her arrival! It was a wonderful afternoon, and both sets of parents got to come by and meet her. Since it was only mid-afternoon, we had so much time to enjoy her and relax before night crept in. Blake was very excited to meet her new sister, and I can't tell you how many tears I shed, seeing my little family complete. We had instantly transitioned from a family of three, to a family of four. I remember being so excited and so scared at the same time.

It was interesting to be a mom already when baby number two arrived, because the love I felt for Sloane was so different right from the beginning. With Blake, it was new and somewhat strange, and while I knew I loved her so so much, I had never loved like that before and some days it was a lot to process. And it grew and changed so much over the months. Once Sloane arrived, I already knew how much a heart will grow, and could immediately begin to anticipate the depth of love we'd have for her. So that was interesting to experience, even now, two months in.

Like I mentioned in the beginning, we do have challenges. However, they are becoming fewer and farther between. We are finding our groove, and figuring out what works and doesn't work. It's been a fun journey.

Both kids had had enough of our first family photos!