The Finish Line

Do you ever find yourself, full of ideas and planning all sorts of little projects? Well I sure do. I love to stay busy, working on this or that. The problem, is that I have a hard time FINISHING all the things I start. You heard that right, I have a hard time finishing projects. Don't tell my husband, he will love to know he's right. All over my house and life, you'll find all sorts of things I started, but got distracted before I could finish. The half painted vase on the kitchen table. The crocheted scarf in the craft bin that simply needs to be connected as an infinity scarf for completion. The photos that are framed but haven't been hung.

    Sometimes I wonder, why is it that I have such a hard time? When I get so close to finishing, why not just wrap it up? I've come up with a few ideas. First, I think there's a little fear of failing. If you never truly finish something, you can't really fail, right? I realize that's a terrible thing to admit, but I do believe there's some truth to it. Second, I like to stay busy. Maybe having these unfinished things lingering around makes me feel like I've always got something to do (as if I needed something to fill my days). And lastly, what I really believe it comes down to, is procrastination. All through school I would wait until the very last minute to start working on homework or a paper. Even if it meant I'd be up half the night, it was as if I wanted to finish without a moment to spare. I think part of me craves the rush. It's almost like I need the pressure to cross the finish line. And with personal projects? Sadly there aren't any deadlines. Nothing pressuring me to complete the beaded bracelets I started two years ago. Or the wedding picture book. And as history has proven, my own deadlines aren't enough to get the job done.

So now I'm left, at age 31, wondering about a solution for something that has plagued me for probably the better part of 15 years. My mind tells me I want to finish all these things, but my actions say otherwise. And we ALL know.... Actions speak louder than words. Yes, we are nearing the time of year for resolutions. And I've never really been one for New Year resolutions, but this year might be the start of something new for me. In addition to being in the middle of writing this blog post, the other day, Matt brought to my attention all the things I've started, but have yet to finish. I mentioned I was in the midst of searching for a solution and writing this post. We joked about whether or not the post would actually even get finished!

And, all jokes aside, it truly is an issue I need to focus on, and overcome. This blog post is getting finished. The next project will be to hang our pictures. Following that, the scarf, and then the vase. I love making to-do lists. But they are usually for practical things like paying bills, errands and household chores. I need to make each thing I start a priority. Add it to the to-do list, even if it's an item that is more for fun than anything. If I started it, at one point it must've had a purpose or meaning. I need to place a value on the things I do, and finish the last project before starting a new one. I don't need a deadline, or someone telling me to finish something. I just want to finish what I start. Period. I need to be more responsible for my actions and my time. It's going to be hard work, but I want to stay focused and change how I operate. I'm fairly certain it will lead to increased productivity, a cleaner and more organized house, more discipline, and overall, a happier me. Now I can't wait to get started.

The empty gallery wall and all the framed photos, just waiting to be hung.